…here is your way through. It is by falling down, repeatedly. Fail, and fail again, fall down and skin your knees, rip your trousers, bleed a little. Flail. Flounder. Sob at 7 a.m. in a Safeway parking lot. Cry about broken trees. Be confused by it all. Choose to not know things, and become imperfect, again, as you know you have always been. Love and fall in love again, with illogical and lush and curvy and wrong. And crawl away bloodied from the fight to stay in that water, or to stay away from that water. Crawl into your safe lair and remember her mouth, a look, a phrase, an unforgettable scent. Hang your love on memory, cuddle up with memory and a world of unfinished. See how that keeps you warm on a cold February night. See how that vacant thing kisses you at 2 a.m.? She how it needs you? Forget about breathing. Breathing isn’t for you. Look into a mirror – any mirror will do, and have a chat with fear. Fear smiles and tells you to get up off the goddamned floor take a chance and fall down.
Again.